小心心|小心这六个常用的单词会让你魅力尽失
小心心|小心这六个常用的单词会让你魅力尽失
在互联网正以迅猛之势无限延展的今天，语言或说文字的力量已经强大到可以左右一件事成败的地步。想想看，语言影响你个人和公司的各种方式：一个人们想要阅读的博客，内容营销吸引了成千上万的新用户关注你的产品和服务，在社会媒体中相互影响的真实声音，简洁的商业文稿不仅节省时间也规避了不确定性。
因此，有技巧地使用语言，会让你的事业顺风顺水，而以下这些单词的用法则有可能让你失去本该属于你的机会。如果可以，把他们永久拉入黑名单吧！
Actually and But
事实上&但是
Carolyn Kopprasch recently opined that when it comes to customer service these seemingly innocuous words can put distance between you and your customers. She gives these examples:
卡洛琳•科帕拉奇的观点是，当涉及到客户服务，这些无伤大雅的词语可能会让你和顾客产生举例。她给出了以下例子：
Actually, you can do this under "Settings."
事实上，你可以在设置菜单下这么做。
Sure thing, you can do this under "Settings!" :)
当然，你可以在设置菜单下这么做。:)
The first sentence implies the customer was wrong about something, and you never want to elicit that sentiment.
第一句话暗示顾客做错了，你肯定不想让顾客产生这种感觉。
As for "but," look at the difference removing it makes, she points out.
至于“但是”，注意去掉它之后的区别。
I really appreciate you writing in, but unfortunately we don"t have this feature available.
很高兴你能写下这点，但是很不巧，我们就没这个功能。
I really appreciate you writing in! Unfortunately, we don"t have this feature available.
真是很高兴你能写下来！不巧的是，我们没有这个功能。
It"s a subtle fix that makes your message more positive.
去掉之后，它微妙地让你表达的信息更加积极肯定。
Just
只要
No matter the context, this one smacks of negativity. Consider phrases you might hear and how someone might interpret them.
不管上下文是什么，这个词带有消极的意味。想想你可能听到的词组，大家对这些都是怎么解读的。
"Just a minute." Your priorities are somewhere other than helping me.
“只要一分钟。”你的重点不是帮助我。
"Just do XYZ." You think I"m having a hard time figuring this out.
“只要做X，Y，Z。”你认为我弄不明白。
"I"m just an intern." You think your power or influence is limited, in which case it certainly is.
“我只不过是个实习生。”你认为你的能力或者影响力有局限，事实也正是如此。
Blogger, speaker, and consultant Matt Monge takes special issue with the latter example. "You"re not just your position. You"re an integral part of your organization," he writes. "You"re an individual with goals, dreams, abilities, and ideas. You can be a motivated,empowered, positive, valuable member of the team if you just decide to put forth the effort and work it takes to be those things."
博主、发言人、顾问马特•蒙日用后面这个例子做出解释。“你不仅仅只是在你的职位上。你是公司整体的一份子。”他写道，“你是个有目标、有梦想、有能力、有想法的人。如果你决定付出努力和劳动，你可以变成团队中积极、有权利、正面、有价值的一员。”
Always and never
总是&从不
These are classic weapons wielded in relationships that show up in the form of "You always do XYZ" or "You never do ABC." Really? Every single time? Think hard about it--do the behaviors that bother you the most truly happen without fail?
这两个是在人际关系中使用的典型武器。“你总是做XYZ”或者“你从来不做ABC。”对么？每次都是？好好想一想—这些行为是不是能惹恼你？
"Never" can also be unduly limiting. Even if you think something will never ever happen, voicing your negativity can discourage others from contributing ideas that could solve a problem.
“从不”也可以是过分限制。哪怕你认为某件事不可能发生，说出你的消极看法会让别人打消贡献出能够解决问题的想法。
Should
应该
Everyone has things they could be doing differently but "shoulding on yourself" isn"t going to propel you to action. Not only will a self-inflicted guilt trip lead to balking,dwelling on your shortcomings can quickly spiral out of control and result in negative and counter-productive self-talk.
每个人做的事都可能会有另一种方法来做。但是“你应该”这句话无法促使你行动。不仅仅自我施加的罪恶感会成为阻碍，细想自己的缺点也很快会让你失控，产生消极和事与愿违的自言自语。
""I should be [doing something more] leads to "Man, I lack discipline" which leads to "What"s wrong with me?" which leads to "Maybe I don"t have what it takes ... why do I even bother ... I should just quit now ..."" says psychologist and master violinist Dr. Noa Kageyama. "And pretty soon we"re sitting on the couch watching reruns of The Office and eating a six-pack of Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches."
“我本应该（做更多的事）"的想法会产生"伙计，我缺乏自律"，然后就是“我怎么了？”，之后是“也许我没有所需的品质……为什么我要做呢……我应该现在就放弃……”心理学家兼小提琴大师景山诺亚说。“很快我们就会坐在沙发上，看着电影《办公室》重播，吃掉六包低脂冰淇淋三明治。
Instead of "should" Kageyama advises using a phrase that"s more specific and solution-focused. For example, you could tell yourself that next time you"ll spend five minutes on the behavior you"ve been avoiding before doing anything else. Or, "This afternoon I will spend 20 minutes [searching online] for ideas that might make [this activity] more interesting and challenging in a motivating way," he suggests.
比起用“应该”一词，景山建议用更明确、更聚焦解决方案的词组来替代。比如，你下次可以告诉自己，在做任何事之前，你会花5分钟在需要避免的行为上。或者，“今天下午，我会花20分钟（上网搜索）能让（活动）更有趣更具有挑战性的想法。”他建议说。
https://m.oubohk.cn/yingyu/290886/
